Make Your Child Bully Proof
In this day and
age, bullying is no longer a kid pushing around another kid on the playground,
although that is still happening. It’s harassing, taunting, emotionally abusing
and physically hurting another person to the point of doing irrevocable harm. We’ve
all seen the mean girls fight videos on YouTube and read the news about the
kids being shot or stabbed at school or teens committing suicide because they
just can’t take it anymore. While bullying make still happen in schools across
the country, its time it is no longer an accepted practice. Adults who are in
charge need to step in and take care of the victim and address the issue with
the perpetrators. Zero tolerance for any type of bullying needs to be
practiced. Community service to the school teaches giving back and is a
wonderful consequence
when dealing with a bully.
An American
Justice Department study shows 1 in 4 youths are bullied. Thirty percent (30%)
of U.S. students in grades six through ten are involved in moderate or frequent
bullying — as bullies, as victims, or as both. It really is enough of a problem
for parents to start calling for action on the part of the schools their
children and teens attend.
There are four
types of bullying. It can be physical, verbal, emotional and cyber bullying.
Bullying is defined as deliberate and hurtful behavior, usually repeated over a
period of time. Bullying is almost always done to kids who are perceived to be
more vulnerable than the bullies, or n the case of cyber bullies the anonymous
factor leaves every child and teen vulnerable.
The fear of being
harassed in school gets in the way of learning for your child and it may make
going to school – or wherever the bully is - a miserable experience. Being
bullied can make children feel lonely, unhappy and unsafe. Children who are
being bullied may develop stomach aches, nightmares, nervousness and anxiety.
What Parents Can Do to Help Their Child Deal with a Bully
If you think your
child is having problems with a bully at school or in your neighborhood, there
are things you can do to help them. Here is a list of ten tips that have been
known to help parents help their child deal with bullies and mean girls:
Be on your child's side. Send this clear
message to them by taking everything they say about what has happened to them
seriously. Tell your child that you are going to help and reassure them that
you can do something about this bullying problem. In this way, your child will feel
more confident that the problem is not theirs alone and will be better able to
handle it with your help.
Do not allow your child to place the blame of
the incident on themselves. Reassure them that it is not their fault. Victims
will sometime turn the fault in on themselves; help your child place the blame
where it belongs, directly on the bully.
While it is natural to want to protect your
child by solving the problem for him, it will serve your child better if you
teach him how to solve the problem himself. By learning the skills to stand up
for himself, he can use them in other situations.
Ask your child how she has been dealing with
the bullying, talk about what else can be done and discuss what actions you can
both take to solve the problem. Reassure her you will consult her before taking
any action.
There are two problems at play when your
child is dealing with a bully. One, your child's protection is of the utmost
importance and two, your child learning to be confident that they can take care
of their problems is important as well for future incidents. If your child is
being physically threatened, you have no choice but to let someone know. But if
your child is not being physically threatened, talk to them about ways they can
handle the situations they are being placed in. Role play different situations
and things that can be said to a bully, like "Leave me alone." then
walking away.
Ask your child if they can hang out with
friends when they normally see a bully. There is safety in numbers.
Encourage your child to be active in hobbies
and other community activities so that they do develop some good friendships.
Sometimes teachers don't get the full scope
of the problem and you will have to meet with them and their superiors to discuss
it. If your child or teen is being harassed, you may also want to call in the
police.
Throw out all of your old thoughts about
bullying. It is not a normal part of childhood. Your child does not need to
toughen up. Bullying is violent behavior that should not be tolerated.
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